In search of Smalltown America

Just like every other immigrant we arrived in the US looking for a better way of life. Actually even that is not quite true. We had a pretty good life in Europe but I was offered a job in the US and the question immediately arose, "If we decline will we spend the rest of our lives wondering what might have happened had we moved to the US?" So of course we moved. We moved into Northern Virginia which as northern Virginians know is now a suburb of the ghetto officially known as Washington DC. After 7 years we eventually decided to search for the real America before DC spreads out to Winchester. (If you think I exaggerate then you have never lived in Loudoun County where the color green has been outlawed and is being replaced with an unattractive shade of concrete gray).
So we headed south with only one criteria in mind, that we wanted to stay in Virginia. Eventually we found Smalltown and stopped driving. The actual location is going to have to remain anonymous as later posts are undoubtedly going to be nastily vitriolic (I have a horrible sense of humor) and I really don't want to offend people. Well I do really, I just don't want to be caught.
Now we have a place to live and all we need is something to while away the hours. I always fancied the idea of owning a coffeeshop and a search of Smalltown found that there was one for sale, how cool is that. After the attorneys agonized over the minutiae for weeks (and billed accordingly) we found ourselves behind the counter and in front of the espresso machine muttering aloud "Now what do we do". What follows is a mix of stories on life in Smalltown, Coffeeshop tales, observations on people and the odd pointless rant when the mood takes me. Here we go.