Coffee and the Digital Queen

Several weeks ago, bored beyond the limits of human endurance, I was contemplating yet another moment of non-prescription pharmaceutically induced introspection when, like an oasis of culture in a desert of tedium, a customer wanders in off the street and orders a skinny caramel. No challenge for the Coffee Bitch but still more interesting than fresh brew or horror of horrors, fresh brew over ice blended. She drops me a Lincoln and with a huge smile says, “Keep it”. Now that is what I call a customer. Over the next few weeks she becomes quite the regular and we get chatting. I am berating the fact that the local ISP are a bunch of worthless salad tossers (see The Coffee Bitch bitches again) and that I am reduced to skanking wireless and getting 5 bps max. Well it transpires that she is the Queen of everything digital in Smalltown and without a pause she says that she will see if see can turn up the volume on her wireless network so that it hits the Coffee House. Now there you have the difference between the North and the South. In Fairfax county people can’t do enough for you, so they do nothing. Here in Kissbotty county people will actually go out of their way to help a stranger. Unbelievable. Well sadly the wick can’t be turned up enough so the Digital Queen calls her ISP and tells them to get around to the Coffee House and set us up. Within minutes they are in the shop and apparently DQ has sent them an email telling them that we are entitled to the Smalltown special package that reduces the price to less than 50%. How cool is that? So here’s to you, Digital Queen of Smalltown. If only there was a way to say thank you that doesn't involve free coffee.

As a postscript we are due to be installed on Tuesday. Whether the story involves bouquets or brickbats I shall tell it like it is. Watch this space.

TCB