The Coffee Bitch is in love. Not that nasty sweaty love that involves aerosols of whipped cream, assorted kitchen utensils and that awful feeling of remorse afterwards. No this is the best love, pure, ascetic and of course unrequited. So who could have so easily melted the Coffee Bitch’s cold and cynical heart? I have absolutely no idea. All I know is that she is 22 (a mere baby) and a Canadian, which is rather like being an American with a brain.
Allow me to explain. It is 1:30 Saturday morning and I should be tucked up alongside the boss for tomorrow I have to drive to Bigtown, Virginia to stock up on supplies for next week. Sadly for me I am currently having an argument with Bacchus and I am messing with this little blog instead of recharging my batteries in anticipation of a fun packed morning at Sam’s Club. Having just finished the latest sad episode I saw to my great surprise that someone had left a comment and unbelievably she likes my scribbles. So Genben you are the new Meg Ryan. If you read Coffee and the art of Freezer Maintenance you will see why our love must remain unrequited, this wretched Coffee Shop has a lot to answer for. Of course all this begs two questions,
Does a Brit living in the US need a visa to get into Canada?
Is stalking a crime in Canada?
So if you Canadians spot a lost and lonely person in a brown apron with a latte in one hand and a freezer thermostat in the other, be nice it is just the coffee bitch on a walkaround. Now I need to snuggle up to the boss and get her to sign a vacation form before she wakes up.
O Canada! Our home and native land!
True patriot love in all thy sons command.
With glowing hearts we see thee rise, The True North strong and free!
From far and wide, O Canada, We stand on guard for thee.
God keep our land glorious and free!
O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.
O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.
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1 comment:
Love it love it love it. Well you sir have just made my day! :) I've never had the pleasure of being written about in someone's blog (that I know of) so this is quite the treat. To answer those questions no you don't need a vusa to get into Canada as far as I know. However, stalking is illegal so you and the rest of my many admirers are just going to have to try and keep your distance. ha! I was so glad to see all the new entries you've blogged since I last checked in. My favourite would have to be the one about Sam's club. You didn't really tell that shelf stocker that did you? Classic! Happy belated birthday. It's quite amusing that we have the same one eh? (How very Canadian of me to say.) Although you may not really care we also she a birthday with the likes of Arnold Schwartzenegger, Hilary Swank, and Lisa Kudro. Looking forward to more excellent entries.
Gen(ben)
P.S. You had to look up the lyrics to the Canadian national anthem didn't you.
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