Coffee and Fireworks

I decided that we would celebrate the 4th (or sleazy traitors war of insolence against the King day as I prefer to call it). So we invited a few of our favorite customers (all two of them) to Chateau Caffeine for a spot of barbecue and some fireworks. Both the barbie and the fireworks necessitated a trip to Bigtown and just for a change we spent a glorious Sunday morning at Sam's Club. The very next day the Kissbotty Gazette had a front page article from the Fire Marshall reminding all of us Kissbotians that fireworks were illegal in Kissbotty County. WTF! I have been screwed again by Sam's who are conveniently situated in another county, what a rip!

I can't help thinking that fireworks should be legal everywhere on the 4th. After all you people did rebel against your King so what if a few homes get burnt down, it's a small price to pay.

PS My guests (who were clearly not impressed with the selection from Sam's) decided that next year we should all pop across the state line, into North Carolina where apparently they really know how to make fireworks.

Coffee and Jack Lalanne

Fruit of the loins I and II both came home for Father's Day which was a rare treat indeed. FOTLI recently bought a juicer and has been boring me to sobs about it for weeks. Well she took it upon herself to bring it down in order to demonstrate how great it was. I have to say that I kind of enjoyed messing with it and we made some cool drinks; carrot and orange, kiwi and grape, melon and celery and my favorite, bloody marys. Being the curious person that I am I had to try the pulp to see what that was like. The carrot was dreadfully dry, the orange was nice as was the kiwi, the melon was not up to much at all. All in all I probably ate more roughage that I had ever had and of course there had to be consequences. Yes indeed, I spent all of Father's Day on the crapper courtesy of that smug git Jack Lalanne and three weeks later I still don't dare fart. Worst Father's Day ever