Coffee and Lonely Hearts

Sunday morning has to be the best time of the week. Good old English fried breakfast followed by a wallow in the Sunday Bigtown Gazette and the New York Times all accompanied by a mug of coffee and the happy sounds of the Boss washing and ironing. Ah, I could watch women work all day. By the way, hats off to you colonials, getting the New York Sundays to my Smalltown door is a remarkable feat of distribution. So I was on page 327 of section D (damn, they must have cut down a whole Sequoia just to make my one issue) when my eye was caught by a story involving a woman suing a matchmaking service for not finding her a love interest. The story per say was not that interesting but what was fascinating was that the matchmaker was charging up to $200,000 for a match. Wondering what I might get for my $200,000 I visited her website, boy was I in for a disappointment. I have no idea what she spends her money on but it clearly isn’t her website. This has to be one of the worst sites I have ever seen. It is riddled with spelling errors, nasty grammar and just plain nonsense. I particularly like the line that says “don’t send me flowers or chocolates but a bonus check is always appreciated. Words cannot describe the contrast between the fees charged and the crappiness of the website so why don’t you have a look yourself.

All of this gave me a great idea to boost the profits (and I use that word very loosely) of the Coffee House and perhaps picking up a little spare myself. I have now opened the Coffee Bitch's find-a-mate Agency. My fees are $20 to nail your ad to the wall and a slice of weddin’ pizza on completion of the nuptials. I think this is going to work as I got my first commission last week.

Gentleman Farmer with single wide (indoor outhouse), 1971 Ford F150 and donkey seeks widow or woman who’s up for it. Must be able to carry hay bale under each arm and have own tractor. Please send photo of tractor.

OK so that wasn’t the greatest of blogs but it is Sunday and it is so hard to concentrate on writing when there is so much noise coming from the kitchen. By way of an apology for wasting your time, here is a cartoon based on a recurring theme at the Coffee House.

I wonder what time lunch is.

TCB