The Bitch's Happy Day

A really gorgeous ex-girlfriend of mine called the other day. We lost track of time, chatting about the wild nights we used to enjoy together, she really was exceptionally skilled at the marital arts. I couldn't believe it when she asked if I'd like to meet up and maybe rekindle a little of that magic. "Wow!" I said "I don't know if I could keep pace with you now! I'm a bit older than when you last saw me!" She giggled and said she was sure I'd rise to the challenge! "Yeah," I said, just so long as you don't mind a man with a waistband that's a few inches wider these days!" She laughed and told me to stop being so silly! She teased me, saying she thought that tubby men were cute! "Anyway", she said, "I've put on a couple of pounds myself!"

So I hung up.

This gave me a little more time to read the Bigtown Gazette when my eye was caught by a report stating that a recent study had found that 35% of men have been injured while undoing a woman's bra. That's correct undoing bras. Whilst unfastening a woman's fun bag holder, men have received strained tendons, scratches, and other similar injuries.

Actually, I can vouch for that. I got injured today while trying to undo a bra. When I undid the woman in front of me in the checkout line at the Walmarts, she turned around and hit me in the face with a can of peas.

I realize that I have been a bit rash in castigating the complete lack of professionalism from the Smalltown IP Company. Today a lady called to see if we had Internet. I replied that we did and within 5 minutes she was here with her family. It seems that Smalltown IP Co. had once again turned off most of uptown Smalltown without any warning. She is a realtor working from home and was screwed without a service. The end result was that they dropped $25 for lunch and we won a new customer. In fact they enjoyed the boss’s quality cooking so much they tipped me out (very well) and promised to be back.

Keep up the good work Smalltown IP Co.