Recently The Smalltown Gazette has been running a series of articles, which I can only describe as “Dumb Criminal” stories. The deal is that the local cops will write to a whole load of local miscreants and invite them to a prize giving or award ceremony or some such similar bash and when they turn up to register, they get slapped in chains. Apparently it is the most cost effective method of collecting the local scumbags and every time I read another police sponsored scam story I shake my head in wonder as to how dumb these moron criminals can be. Today I received the following email. (To protect the guilty the xxxxxx are mine).
Dear Coffee Bitch,
We would love to have you attend the meeting, as we will be presenting a special award to The Smalltown Coffee House.
XXXXXXXXXX - Community Partnership for Revitalization
You are cordially invited to
The Annual Meeting of
The Community Partnership For Revitalization
November 15th – 6:00 to 7:00 p.m.
Light refreshments will be served.
Immediately following the annual meeting, there will be a performance by “XXXXXXXXXX” to which the public is invited. The quintet was formed as one of the component groups of the United States Air Force Heritage of America Band. The quintet presents a unique blend of chamber music, drawing from the repertoire of classical composers such as Puccini and Bach to the contemporary music of Baccarat and Gershwin. Their repertoire also includes popular music selections as well as patriotic music.
Please RSVP by November 10th by e-mail at XXXXXXX@XXXXXXXX or call xxx-xxx-xxxx.
Well I think that I smell a large brown furry rodent here. Can it be that the Smalltown flasher has finally been unmasked (figuratively speaking of course). I think I might just send the boss in my place. Then again what happens if the award involves cash? Damn, I won’t see that. Worse still, suppose it is presented by Meg Ryan dressed in a Girl Guides uniform with a six pack in one hand, a pizza in the other and a come upstairs Bitch look on her face, don’t laugh it might happen. Now I know how those dumbass criminals feel. What a tizzy of indecision. Watch this space all will be revealed on Wednesday. Actually it might be best if all is not revealed, this will be one night in Smalltown when I keep the boys in their barracks.
Yours in anticipation
TCB
Dear Coffee Bitch,
We would love to have you attend the meeting, as we will be presenting a special award to The Smalltown Coffee House.
XXXXXXXXXX - Community Partnership for Revitalization
You are cordially invited to
The Annual Meeting of
The Community Partnership For Revitalization
November 15th – 6:00 to 7:00 p.m.
Light refreshments will be served.
Immediately following the annual meeting, there will be a performance by “XXXXXXXXXX” to which the public is invited. The quintet was formed as one of the component groups of the United States Air Force Heritage of America Band. The quintet presents a unique blend of chamber music, drawing from the repertoire of classical composers such as Puccini and Bach to the contemporary music of Baccarat and Gershwin. Their repertoire also includes popular music selections as well as patriotic music.
Please RSVP by November 10th by e-mail at XXXXXXX@XXXXXXXX or call xxx-xxx-xxxx.
Well I think that I smell a large brown furry rodent here. Can it be that the Smalltown flasher has finally been unmasked (figuratively speaking of course). I think I might just send the boss in my place. Then again what happens if the award involves cash? Damn, I won’t see that. Worse still, suppose it is presented by Meg Ryan dressed in a Girl Guides uniform with a six pack in one hand, a pizza in the other and a come upstairs Bitch look on her face, don’t laugh it might happen. Now I know how those dumbass criminals feel. What a tizzy of indecision. Watch this space all will be revealed on Wednesday. Actually it might be best if all is not revealed, this will be one night in Smalltown when I keep the boys in their barracks.
Yours in anticipation
TCB
No comments:
Post a Comment