Well it has to be said that it was a night of disappointments. First of all search as I might there was no sign of Meg Ryan. Look Meg I need to tell you that those puppies are heading south at an alarming rate, you really need to make your move soon especially as Britney is back on the market. I am not going to wait forever, OK?
Anyway the ceremonies commenced and I was on tenterhooks holding out for the “Bitch most likely to be caught in a deviant pose with an illegal Guatemalan transsexual nurse whilst enjoying a reach around with a spider monkey” award. Sadly, and I must hold Smalltown to task over this, there was no such category. We eventually settled for New Business of the Year. It was to say the least a crushing blow but I fought back the tears and accepted with as much grace as I could muster. I suppose this means that hordes of Smalltownians will be flocking to our door and increasing my workload no end. This is particularly ironic as I have been doing my best to keep the plebeians away by letting them know that I have been grinding the fresh ginger between my butt cheeks. (And I think that there might still be a piece caught there as my bum burns like the very anus of Satan himself).
If there was any good news then thankfully the event was not managed by the Smalltown cops so at least I get to flash another day, brace yourselves ladies, I am on a roll. Incidentally FOTL1 (who knows about these things) tells me that the age of consent in Virginia is 13, which is very handy. She might have added a few caveats but you know how it is, you only hear what you want to hear.
Finally Don Rumsfeld has got the push and that is a shame. Old Rummy (as he liked me to call him) was a horribly misjudged man as this short video shows.
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