We left Fairfax county in part to escape the crime. The gangs were moving in, drive by shooting were becoming common and when the nice lady across the street was held up at gun point on her driveway we decided to head south. Sadly even Smalltown is not safe. The offices of Hemmer, Royd and Pile are just next door and yesterday Mrs. Pile came to see us to ask if we were all right. It transpires that some lout had thrown a beer bottle into their porch way. In Fairfax they have drive by shootings, in Kissbotty we have drive by beer bottle throwing. I suspect that it might have been a disgruntled client of Freddie Pile so I am uncertain as to why Mrs. Pile would worry about us being bottled after all no one ever got a bad latte from this Bitch.
Still this did give me an idea and quite fancying a few days off I called the Sheriff’s department and anonymously (faking a fine southern accent) told them that it was the boss that had committed the crime. Well, they sent the investigators around who after some hours worked out that the boss was off the hook. It seems that a bottle of Bud Natural was involved, had the glass been an old mason jar the boss would have been in the pokey and I would now be in a hammock surrounded by a bevy of bare breasted beauties attending to my every whim. God life can be so unfeeling. Still all this detective work gives me an idea for a TV franchise
CSI Kissbotty (The Shine Wars)
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