Coffee and Immigrants

I swear to God that this place is becoming more like the United Nations every week and I don‘t just mean the Yankee hoard that seem to be invading Kissbotty in ever increasing numbers. Today we had in all sorts, a Kiwi bird and a Kraut. I’m sorry that was hardly politically correct, let me rephrase that, A woman from New Zealand and a Kraut. We also had an Irish gent in and of course a delegation from England. At the same time we had just one American and when I pointed out that he was the ethnic minority he had the good grace to smile. He was in fact one of the Circuit judges that likes to dine here, which once again points out the fact that these judges are really jolly decent chaps. I do hope I get him when the Catholic Girls School finally gets to grips with the Smalltown phantom flasher.

Later that same day we had in an Australian. I can’t image why he should be here, after all America has hardly any sheep so how he manages for a love life is beyond me. I suppose I should be charitable towards immigrant Australians as long as they are not here on an “I married an American woman” green card. We don’t need any more people who border hop, steal our jobs and impregnate our women. After all that is why God created Canadians. I suppose that if you have to come from somewhere then Australia is better than Des Moines (just). Here are 10 reasons for Australian immigrants to feel homesick, and go home

1. The Alpha male can always be spotted as he is the one holding the BBQ tongs.
2. Fosters Lager
3. Dispossessing Aborigines who have lived in your country for 40,000 years because you think it belongs to you (hmm, just like Americans really)
4. Knowing that every civic function including the opening of Parliament will be accompanied by the sounds of sausages sizzling on a Barbie
5. Tact and sensitivity.
6. Bondi Beach.
7. Other beaches.
8. Liberated attitude to homosexuals
9. Drinking cold lager on the beach
10. Having a bit of a swim and then drinking some cold lager on the beach.

If by some dreadful mischance there is an Australian reading this (and I know you are) I have a question. Your national anthem, that Waltzing Matilda thing. If the jolly swagman actually did bring his mate Billy to the boil why are you people such homophobes, it doesn't make sense.

Finally a picture of a successful Saturday night in Wonga Wonga

Redefining xenophobia

TCB