Coffee and the Mountain Man

I suppose that we have settled into a cozy little routine here in Smalltown. Between 7 and 8 we get the high school kids coming in for breakfast. I like to take this opportunity to help their psychological development by letting them know that if their mothers really loved them they would provide a nice breakfast at home. When I see a little tear forming I say, “Hey I’m just messing with your head, no one is ever going to love you”. Then from 8 until 9 we get the office workers and about midmorning the retirees come in for bagels and a spot of scintillating Bitch conversation. So it was yesterday when in walked the biggest mountain man I have ever seen. This guy was huge, maybe 350 pounds and 6’3” tall. He was sporting a huge black beard and had the hairiest arms, shoulders and back. (Yes on a pretty cold morning mountain man was attired in a singlet vest). This guy could seriously commit suicide by sunbathing during bear hunting season. As I have previously mentioned, you can’t judge a book by its cover, or did I say the opposite? Oh whatever, he was a nice guy, perhaps a little too friendly as he muscled in on one of my regular retired couples but they seemed OK with it and at least they will have a story to tell. I don’t quite know how we got onto teas but we did and he decided that he wanted to try some so he would be back later. Later turned out to be about 2 hours when he returned with his old Mum. Now I have already described Man Mountain so I won’t bore you by laboring the point but his mother was tiny. 5’3” max and maybe 75 pounds, by the second trimester MM’s feet must have been hanging out. This woman made FOTL1 look like Xena Warrior Princess. As you know tea is where I am a Viking so I went through my spiel and we decided to start off with a nice pot of Earl Grey. You really have to have been there to see MM sipping Earl Grey out of a bone china teacup with his pinky in the air. We experimented with various blends and eventually he said, “ I have to say that I prefer the aroma of the Prince Charles blend”. There you have it, not only do I cure senility but I turn mountain men into epicureans. He had such a jolly time that he promised to bring his buddies in for a cream tea. Can you imagine? When it happens I promise I will take a picture and post it here, this is going to be interesting.

Tea for Two
TCB