Coffee and (un)Happiness

Things that make me unhappy.

Kissbotty County weather. Last week we were promised a big old snow storm, we got a few flakes. This week we had an ice storm warning, it got a touch chilly. I am so disappointed. What is going on? As I write this, the mutual scrote scratchers, Dick ‘n’ Ed at Kissbotty Radio (home to all the hits) are once again announcing “Kissbotty County Schools code red five”. This means I am off to Applebees to spout some Faust and see if I can get the English teacher to bend over. Whatever, bring on the weather I have a four-wheel drive to check out. Damn this global warming.

Dish Satellite Network. The list of Dish’s crimes defies belief so forgive me if I miss a few salient points. For a start that advert that hooked me clearly stated $29.99 per month. It did not say that $29.99 is a teaser, which lasts for 10 months, but you have to sign an 18-month contract. They also fail to mention that $29.99 does not include the decoders that you need to rent at $5 per month each. Free professional installation only includes connection to an existing cable socket. If you want a television in your kitchen and the kitchen is not wired then it ain’t gonna happen baby. I wonder what amateur installation would be. I have a vision of the dish man throwing the decoder through a window and driving off. Of course the irrevocable 18-month contract does not prevent Dish from upping the rates, and this they have done. I am expected to be placated by the fact that I now subscribe to America’s Top 250 (as opposed to America’s Top 180). This does not mean I get another 70 channels, I guess Dish just pulled another number out of the air. If what I get is America’s Top anything, you people are in serious trouble here. By the way, removing Court TV from the line up and then turning it back on does not constitute another channel. I just wish I were smart enough to know if the knock-off decoders on ebay actually work.

Things that make me happy

Heated leather seats. For someone who never successfully navigated the anal stage of psychosexual development, that lovely warm feeling down below is so reminiscent of a potty training failure. I think I am going to drive all day.

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TCB