Coffee and Health

When I was running my little medical outfit up north one of our greatest expenses was health insurance. Admittedly we had a great plan but it soon got out of hand and we were paying $1500 per employee per month. I managed to find a more reasonable plan but over the last few years that too crept up in price until we were once again paying over $1000 per employee. Now you can surely imagine that these sorts of prices are way beyond the means of the Smalltown Coffee House so we have recently joined the millions of Americans with fake medical cards and ID. I know that I mustn’t rag on at my adopted country but really people you have seriously screwed up this healthcare business. There are some very simple solutions to this mess but none will work until you make it illegal to bribe politicians. (Yes I know that it is called lobbying but it is illegal in pretty much every civilized nation). As I am seriously at risk of becoming tiresome here I will stop now and simply proffer this paragraph as a prelude to the following true story.

Here in Smalltown we have quite a decent sized hospital, which is part of a large chain (if that is the correct term) spread across southern Virginia. Recently they appointed a new administrator and he is now a regular customer of ours. He is actually quite a decent chap and is slowly crossing the shell hole filled no-mans land between customer and friend. Jim came in for lunch yesterday, looking like the world had just fallen out of his bottom. Instead of the usual hi test coffee and chili he ordered the veggy surprise and water. Ever one to cheer my fellow man I enquired as to what was happening. It turns out that his cholesterol is through the roof, he has some other issues and basically life now revolves around no alcohol or any food that involves taste, aka not worth living. In an attempt to make lemonade out of lemons I mentioned that at least he was assured of the finest medical attention for free. Looking sadder than a one legged man at an ass kicking contest he replied,”Not really, most of my meds are not covered and I am $450 a month out of pocket”. Isn’t that crazy? The Chief Executive of Smalltown’s Hospital has a crappy health plan, I am outraged. Why are you people not self-insured? Actually I should explain the true cause of my outrage. You see my secret health plan was to offer Jim a free cup of coffee and then ask if he could get my bum grapes done on the DL. Clearly if these people don’t look after their own I am going to have to stick with my rubber ring cushion.

As I said at the beginning you have seriously screwed up this healthcare business.

TCB