Coffee and Drugs

I love pharmaceutical reps, they have a rotten job and I don’t think that anyone could argue that they are not on the bottom rung of the sales ladder. Much of their sales technique revolves around bribing doctors and this is where I come in. Quite often a booted and suited rep (and in these cases rep is short for reptile) will come in and order 18 bagels and gallons of coffee and so on. They also like to leave me little tokens of their appreciation of my overt manliness and that is why I have a collection of a gross or two of ballpoints and other trinkets. So it came to pass that I found myself using a pen advertising Lovenox. Yes indeed Lovenox. Now is it just me or does Lovenox sound like an STD. “Sorry Pet I don’t think that I can tonight, my Lovenox has flared up again”.
Intrigued I hooked up to their website and apparently Lovenox is nothing to do with the galloping knob rot but rather a deep vein thrombosis medication, who would have guessed.

On the website there is a quiz to assess your risk of a DVT so I thought that I would give it a go. Of course I lied about my physical condition (just like I do when filling in those dating site questionnaires). So having told Lovenox that I have a body mass index of 2.0 (whatever that means), I run 2 marathons a week, have a pulse rate of 40 bpm and unfeasibly large genitalia, Lovenox determines that I AM at risk of a DVT, the lying scumbags.

Actually I could never trust a drug company whose website shows such a lack of quality control. Apparently there is a medical condition called a hearth attack. I suppose this happens when you are all fired up and feeling grate.

Now I think I can spot a rep on the horizon so I need to water down the coffee and rub some Nivea Intensive Care Lotion onto my Lovenox.
TCB