Coffee and Sponsorship

Samlltown’s Scout Leader, Lawson D Woods called in this week. Half way through his Café Noir and petite fours he casually mentioned that $250 would sponsor a boy scout. On reflection my response of “WTF you must be different planet buster” was hardly appropriate. I therefore went on to explain that if “sponsoring” is a synonym for paying money to keep little mouths shut then I am currently “sponsoring” two girl guides and let me tell you that those painted jezebels are bleeding me white. Lawson quickly left with a disgusted look and a failure to tip. I am guessing that he is losing his mind as once again he has forgotten my name although why he would call me Mr. P D O’File is a mystery.

Still this talk of sponsorship has given me an idea. I wonder if I could sponsor an attorney or two in the District Court. Nothing too crass, perhaps a button that flashed up a subliminal message “Call a recess, send the jury to the Coffee House”. The more I think about this the more it sounds like it could work. My first thought was to offer the job to Bertie Grabbit but I think that he is too honest for my shenanigans. Yes I know, “honest attorney”, that must be the biggest oxymoron ever (just ahead of American Healthcare and British Cuisine). Still (Simple) Simon Hemmer (Hemmer Rhoyd and Piles LLP) is up for anything as long as it involves an Alexander or two so he is my man. I shall let you know how it goes down.

Habeas Corpus baby.
TCB