Coffee and Kangaroos*

One of our regular couples, who are both in their mid eighties, came in for breakfast today. They are immigrants from New York and he used to be in the scrap metal business. If you have ever seen the Sopranos you will know where I am going with this. When we are quiet we will sit with “Don” and his lady and chat as they have their coffee. Today Don left us for a short while in order to renew his CCP. For those of you unfortunate enough to live in a State that spits on the second amendment allow me to explain. Here in God’s own State we can openly carry a gun, with a few exceptions, pretty much anywhere. Now if you want to, you can also take a short training course and then apply for a concealed carry permit (CCP). Virginia is a “shall issue” state, which means that unless there is a reason not to do so you will be issued with a CCP. It goes without saying that the Bitch and FOTL1 are both CCP carriers.

Whilst we are sipping on our Kopi Luwak Don returns in high dudgeon. His renewal has been rejected as he had forgotten to mention a minor conviction on his record. It transpires that 20 years ago a couple of scumbags tried to break into his yard and he beat the living snot out of them. As he is telling the tale I started to do the math. 85 years old now, 20 years ago equals 65. Damn he was 65 and he kicked the crap out of two burglars, sweet. Well the father of one of them decided to take Don to court as the kid had lost a couple of teeth. On the steps of the courthouse the father who had a gold front tooth made the mistake of taunting Don. Don replied taking a pop at the old man in order to collect some gold for later. From then on the story went down hill rapidly. As he is telling this story you could see his eyes turning that flint grey color and I thought that even at 85 this was one old man that you would not want to cross.

Here are a couple of epilogs to this tale. The first is that a week after the court deal (after which Don had to pay $290 restitution) the little thug turned up again and from the safety of the other side of the fence told Don that he was going to wait until Don got old so he come back and whip his ass, can you imagine waiting for a 65 year-old to get old? As it happened he never did whip Don’s ass and 20 years later the two are good friends. The second is that Don, who is well retired, misses the old business and wants to start a scrap yard. He has asked me to consider going into business with him. It occurs to me that the Boss and Mrs Don could run the Coffee House which would free me up to take up a new career busting heads. Of course no one is going to respect someone called Coffee Bitch but “Il Patroni” has a nice ring about it, don’t you agree?

Onwards and Upwards
TCB

* OK so a free Latte to the first person to understand the title of this blog. DQ, you are way too smart so don’t even think about trying.