Coffee calling Austin

The Coffee and Mystery thing has still not been resolved and quite frankly that is disturbing me somewhat. I am probably more disturbed by the fact that this is disturbing me than the fact that it is disturbing me, and that is the definition of paranoia. So just because I can, and I am still bored witless I shall, like a small kid poking a frog, poke away and see if I get a reaction. I know I shouldn’t but hey this is life in the fast lane. I used to have a reader, a sweet little girly from Canada, whom I enraged so much, with this entry, that not only did she stop reading this blog, she also stopped blogging herself. Such is the power of the Bitch. Still never one to learn a lesson here we go again.

Dear Austin,

It’s been a while, how are you? I still don’t know that much about you and whilst you might think that is a good thing I confess that it is a source of frustration to me. I did notice that the hits from Austin have moved from the server at the University to swbell. Does this mean that in a fit of conscience you decided to stop surfing at school and do some work? Of course it could just mean that you live off campus. I am also getting some hits from Plano, Texas and as I cannot believe that there are two sad lonely people in Texas that read this drivel, I assume that you have gone home for the holidays. Interestingly enough I also see hits from College Station Texas. This is very confusing as I think that we can all agree that a sentence that includes Texas and college has to be an oxymoron. OK, I know that I should not rag on at Texas. I only do it as I spent way too long in El Paso and I can tell you if God wanted to give the world an enema he would plunge the nozzle into El Paso. The happiest sight I ever saw was the Welcome to El Paso sign (in my rearview mirror).
You have also been remarkably reticent regarding your gender and I think I know why. You are either a male who confesses to watching Kelly Clarkson videos, in which case you are clearly driving on the other side of the road. Or you are a female who did not immediately accept the bitch’s invitation to bump uglies, in which case you are clearly driving on the other side of the road. As further proof I submit the fact that your comment was brought to us by the letter L. Does this stand for the Isle of Lesbos?

Well enough of this, I am off to increase my endomorphines for which purposes the steam wand and my bum cheeks have a pressing appointment.

Happy Christmas to Texans everywhere.
TCB