As you will remember from my previous tales we had more than our fair share of difficulties in getting an Internet service into the shop. Now we have two (and if you don’t know why then you really should have paid more attention). Actually before I continue this hugely interesting story allow me to digress slightly. Do you recall the Smalltown IP provider employee that was happy to stab his employer in the back? Well he was in again and this time he let it drop that although he can have free cable he uses a satellite service, as his company does not supply all the channels that he wants, what a glowing endorsement. It also transpires that I was spot on in my prediction that they will soon be gone. In Smalltown, and maybe Kissbotty county, another company is now running the show. I know this because a guy with a laptop turned up having seen our WiFi sign. “Thank God you have the Internet “ he said “Those worthless bastards at Suddendeath have turned me off for a week whilst they improve the service. (Two points here; isn’t turning off the service to improve the service an oxymoron? Secondly, he used the name Suddendeath, Smalltownonians might get a chuckle out of this as they will recognize the name of the new cowboys). Anyway on with the tale.
To be brutally honest the WiFi thing has not really taken off as I had hoped. When I set out with this I imagined hordes of Smalltown’s intelligencia flocking to my door with laptops akimbo whilst sucking on Lattes. Some years ago Kissbotty county was a very backward backwater but these days especially here in Smalltown the folks are pretty savvy so it has all been a touch disappointing. When folks do pull out a laptop my insatiable curiosity is always piqued and having to give them the password is my in to having a nose at what’s going on. Three days ago a couple of guys walk in and within minutes it was clear that they were a couple. Now let me say at the outset that I have no problems with the batty boys. I find them generally smart, funny and polite. They also have a waspish sense of humor. So you now know why I need to protect my anonymity, for here in Kissbotty, admitting to liking homos is worse than being a pinko-left wing- commie- liberal dem-E-crat. If the locals catch me I will be tarred and feathered, tie to a rail and dragged all the way to Massachusetts. When you stop to think about it, isn’t homophobia all rather pointless. I mean I can understand many fears, I am not too keen on snakes myself, but to be afraid of botty bandits strikes me as being all rather absurd.
The lads sat in the corner and kept themselves to themselves for the next six hours and that was just fine by me, they amassed a $20 tab and left a $6 tip. The next day was a repeat performance and so was the third day. It turns out that one of them is writing a technical manual and is way behind, he actually said that the WiFi was a godsend for him. By now we are on first name terms so I enquire (with some hope I confess) if they are locals. Sadly for me they are from San Francisco (the homo capital of the World) and are just visiting family here in Kissbotty and there goes my hopes of being the Mecca of Smalltown. Looks like another case of what the good Lord giveth……
Still it was fun whilst it lasted lads and I wish you a safe journey home.
Happy Christmas to all the stately homos of America
TCB
To be brutally honest the WiFi thing has not really taken off as I had hoped. When I set out with this I imagined hordes of Smalltown’s intelligencia flocking to my door with laptops akimbo whilst sucking on Lattes. Some years ago Kissbotty county was a very backward backwater but these days especially here in Smalltown the folks are pretty savvy so it has all been a touch disappointing. When folks do pull out a laptop my insatiable curiosity is always piqued and having to give them the password is my in to having a nose at what’s going on. Three days ago a couple of guys walk in and within minutes it was clear that they were a couple. Now let me say at the outset that I have no problems with the batty boys. I find them generally smart, funny and polite. They also have a waspish sense of humor. So you now know why I need to protect my anonymity, for here in Kissbotty, admitting to liking homos is worse than being a pinko-left wing- commie- liberal dem-E-crat. If the locals catch me I will be tarred and feathered, tie to a rail and dragged all the way to Massachusetts. When you stop to think about it, isn’t homophobia all rather pointless. I mean I can understand many fears, I am not too keen on snakes myself, but to be afraid of botty bandits strikes me as being all rather absurd.
The lads sat in the corner and kept themselves to themselves for the next six hours and that was just fine by me, they amassed a $20 tab and left a $6 tip. The next day was a repeat performance and so was the third day. It turns out that one of them is writing a technical manual and is way behind, he actually said that the WiFi was a godsend for him. By now we are on first name terms so I enquire (with some hope I confess) if they are locals. Sadly for me they are from San Francisco (the homo capital of the World) and are just visiting family here in Kissbotty and there goes my hopes of being the Mecca of Smalltown. Looks like another case of what the good Lord giveth……
Still it was fun whilst it lasted lads and I wish you a safe journey home.
Happy Christmas to all the stately homos of America
TCB
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