Dear Customers,
We would like to wish you a Merry Christmas or Season’s Greetings if you prefer. Sadly in these politically correct times we thought that we had better take the advice of Sue, Grabbitt and Runne Attorneys at Law. Therefore;
Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, our best wishes for an environmentally-conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral, celebration of the winter/summer solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of your choice, or secular practice of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all AND a fiscally-successful, personally-fulfilled and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar for 2006, but not without due respect for the calendars of your choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make our society great (not to imply that our society is necessarily greater than any other society) and without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith, choice of computer platform, or sexual preference of the wishee.By accepting this greeting you are accepting these terms. This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for himself or others and is void where prohibited by law and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher.This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year, or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting (whichever comes first) and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.
Happy holidays!
Here is the Bitch’s gift to you, some of my favorite Christmas one-liners
I bought my Mother a wooden leg for Christmas.It’s not her main present. Just a stocking filler.
Tampax have replaced the string on their tampons with a piece of tinsel.... They say it's only for the Christmas period.
And just to offend everyone
A young girl sat on Santa's knee. He said, "What would you like for Christmas, little girl?"
We would like to wish you a Merry Christmas or Season’s Greetings if you prefer. Sadly in these politically correct times we thought that we had better take the advice of Sue, Grabbitt and Runne Attorneys at Law. Therefore;
Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, our best wishes for an environmentally-conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral, celebration of the winter/summer solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of your choice, or secular practice of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all AND a fiscally-successful, personally-fulfilled and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar for 2006, but not without due respect for the calendars of your choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make our society great (not to imply that our society is necessarily greater than any other society) and without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith, choice of computer platform, or sexual preference of the wishee.By accepting this greeting you are accepting these terms. This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for himself or others and is void where prohibited by law and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher.This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year, or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting (whichever comes first) and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.
Happy holidays!
Here is the Bitch’s gift to you, some of my favorite Christmas one-liners
I bought my Mother a wooden leg for Christmas.It’s not her main present. Just a stocking filler.
Tampax have replaced the string on their tampons with a piece of tinsel.... They say it's only for the Christmas period.
And just to offend everyone
A young girl sat on Santa's knee. He said, "What would you like for Christmas, little girl?"
"Some hairs on my special place," she replied.
"Hmmm, do you mind if they're white ones?" asked Santa....
Finally I am hoping for a better Christmas this year. Last year I got a sweater, I was hoping for a moaner or a screamer.
Only 20 days of this misery to go.
Finally I am hoping for a better Christmas this year. Last year I got a sweater, I was hoping for a moaner or a screamer.
Only 20 days of this misery to go.
TCB
1 comment:
OMG -- What a thorough rendition of all the politically correct crap. BTW, CB you need to meet my mother -- she is NOT politically correct at all and she doesn't cook either! HA!
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