Monday, December 11, 2006

Coffee and Irony


Those of you who have faithfully followed my scribblings during the last few months will doubtless see the delicious irony of this blog. If you have just delved into my life recently then you probably need to read this first and then come back and read this.

I was sitting back partaking of a well deserved cup of Darjeeling grown on the south side of the slope at an altitude of over 4000 feet and plucked by dusky virgins, when my eye was caught by the sight of a Smalltown cable provider truck parked outside. The driver spent some considerable time reading his paper and adjusting the lie of his woefully inadequate genitalia before he crossed the road and came into the shop. He had spotted the Internet hotspot sign and took it upon himself to see if we were using his company. You can imagine how sweet it was to unload on him and let him know what a completely and utterly useless bunch of salad tossers his company is when it comes to selling a service. The bizarre thing was that he actually agreed with me. It turns out that the one person that hated his company more than I was he. Then he starts on a lecture on how I should have the wireless encrypted. (As you will doubtless realize, in my previous existence I did all this nonsense in my sleep, so this clown is now seriously irritating me). The fact that it is already encrypted did not stop his lecture so I switched off for a while, only to woken when he asked if he could bring his laptop into the shop to pick up some emails. Of course I reply but to get the free service you have to be a customer so what would you like to buy? He bought a small coffee (cheap bastard) and powered up. After about 10 minutes he started to whine on about how he couldn’t get on line. It turns out that his company would only give them Windows 2000 (cheap bastards) and Windows 2000 is a royal pain to wireless up. Of course you will understand that this is nothing that the Bitch can’t do and indeed I have hooked up a few Smalltownians with 2000 but I wasn’t about to help his joker. Eventually he slithered off and I was once again free to enjoy my green leaf tea. I expect that he was only trying to hook up to test the speed of my ISP, he had already boasted that his company could provide 3Mbits. Of course 3 Mbits is only available if you hold the CEO’s kids hostage until they sell you a service. I can’t help but to think that having to beg a company to sell you a service and for that company to employ staff that clearly hates them is not a good indicator of the survivability of the company. I give them 6 months max before they go belly up.


Coffee Bitch 1 Worthless Knuckle Shufflers 0

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Isn't this ironic! There was much chatter today about the service outages that occurred over the weekend due to this wonderful cable provider! They once again planned maintenance without regard for customers -- no service and no notification. Today we were still receiving citizen complaints about outages and no (or sometimes rude) support. We also found web pages full of complaints about this company all over the country!
Can you tell how I really feel? ;-)