Since the Digital Queen and I got the web into the Coffee House we have started to get a nice little crowd of Smallville’s intelligencia bringing their laptops in and browsing. The mornings are particularly pleasant when we get the high school kids in and these are the people with the highest disposable incomes in town. Lattes and laptops and my happiness is complete. Today, one of our regulars who I shall call Mikey (even though his real name is Kenny) was struggling with his laptop and this thing was real sick, in fact I am sure I saw it waving a white flag at one stage. Before I became a Coffee Bitch I used to run a tech support team, so relishing the intellectual distraction I offered to fix this sick puppy. It is a well-kept secret amongst geeks that all the tools one needs to repair a PC are on line and free so without giving the game away I tweaked, tuned, deleted and defragged and the Dell started to look a lot happier. Strangely enough as the Dell got happier I got sadder and that didn’t make sense. Then it struck me, I was being altruistic and that is just not I. When I am in a good mood I am a miserable curmudgeon and in a bad mood, impossible. What was I to do to restore the status quo? Perhaps if I were to visit the foulest and nastiest fetish and bondage sites on the web that might cheer me up. Alas no, my jaded appetites could not be titillated by the veritable cornucopia of smut available to a left mouse click. Then a delicious thought came to me. I was leaving a vile trail of porn in the history of Kenny’s browser. Now if I were accidentally let Kenny’s Mother (who is an occasional visitor) know that I had found bad things on his laptop and showed her how to track the last sites “he” visited I guess that she would get mad and he would be grounded for, well forever. Now I feel back to my old self.
See you in Hades Kenny.
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