So as I was saying, Bertie Hemmer (of the law firm Hemmer, Royd and Piles) called in for his wake up shot of caffeine. Just previously one of my older and slightly senile (my favorite type of) customers had managed to slop a fair percentage of fresh brew onto the floor. For the longest time I debated whether I should watch it evaporate into a brown ringed stain or mop it up, yes indeed I was as busy as usual. Eventually I decided that mopping might ingratiate myself with the boss so as noisily as I could I swabbed away. Having just finished, cue the entrance of Bertie. Within a nanosecond of crossing the threshold Bertie says (and I swear this is true) “Oh, this looks like a slip and fall waiting to happen”. He then orders his coffee and breaking the habit of a lifetime decides to have it here instead of to go. Sitting down by the damp patch he looks at me and then with an expectant look on his face, at the wet floor. Frankly I didn’t care what was about to happen; as far as I am concerned the insurance company can pick up the tab on this one. As a bonus for me it might be mildly amusing to watch a Smalltown wrinkly skidding wildly across the shop with legs and crutches pointing at the ceiling. Still nevertheless Bertie was annoying me so gathering a large handful of paper towel I got down on my knees, a position not adopted since the 8th grade at St Edwards Church of England School, Romford, Essex and I have to confess it brought back mixed memories. With a song in my heart I dried the floor and as the last molecule of H20 evaporated so did Bertie.
Coffee Bitch 1. Bertie 0.
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