Coffee and Porn

Once again , my favorite theme. Now remember folks you heard it first here, Smalltown is about to get its first porno store, I am so excited I can hardly wait. No doubt you are amazed that I have scooped the Smalltown Gazette and even the Bigtown News but there it is and this is how it went down.

Hugh Jazz (the town manager) and (Simple) Simon Hemmer (Hemmer, Royds, and Piles LLP) the town's attorney were having a meeting and so secret was it that they decided to have it in the Coffee House (I know, what were they thinking)? It turns out that some porn empire has decided that the good citizens of Kissbotty county need to have their love lives jazzed up with a touch of erotica and as Smalltown is the county seat where better to open shop but here. Much to their chagrin the town's elders have been informed by Simple Simon that it is unconstitutional to ban porn from the town. The best that they can do is make life difficult by enacting all sorts of vindictive legislation. For example, they cannot situate outside a school (mind you they probably would not want the pro bono competition, see here) and so on. Still I know how these things work, there will be much huffing and puffing and eventually the porn boys will bung a few Franklins to the council and we will be away.

The last time the Boss and I accidentally stumbled into a porn store we found ourselves in the artificial wiener department. After much deliberation the Boss selected a rather ambition model in black with a white top. She got to the checkout and the clerk said "Madam, that is my vacuum flask".

Happy days