Coffee and Porn

You will recall from an earlier blog that Kissbotty County has but one High School, excitingly it is in the news again and every word of this is true, as you really could not make this stuff up.
It transpires that there is a young lady student at the high school who is somewhat proud of her marital skills. So proud is she, that she decided to record herself performing what is euphemistically known as a sex act on a fellow student. Then for reasons apparent only to herself she sent a few copies to friends and as you can imagine this viral video spread like wildfire. (Aren’t cell phones wonderful? I tell you when I was a lad all we had were crudely drawn cartoons and I am sure that most of them were drawn by the Gym coach in order to make us feel inadequate in the genitalia department).

Of course it was not long before a copy fell into the hands of someone in authority and then all hell broke loose. The police were called in and they confiscated every single cell in the school. Not that I am any sort of child psychologist but if I were, I might take the young lady aside and explain that when you make a home made sex tape you set yourself up with a legacy that will absolutely come back to bite you when you try to enter Congress or take up some position of authority in later life. (Actually that is a lie, if I ever did find this young lady I would marry her, still I digress). The boys in blue took a different approach and arrested everyone who had a copy of the video on child pornography charges. It seems to me to be a little over the top to place half of Kissbotty’s High School students on the sex offenders register and ruin their little lives even before they become adults. There is plenty of time to grind their hopes and aspirations into the doormat of the welfare line after they have grown up.

So Bertie Grabbitt (Sue, Grabbitt and Runne LLP) and I were discussing this when I happened to mention that if he (the great defender that he is) were to take on Miss Teen BJ 2008 as a client he could get hold of the evidence and pass me a copy. Puffing himself up to his full judicial majesty he told me that if he did that then we would both be hauled up on child porn charges. No Bertie, I replied you misunderstand for you would just be calling on the services of an expert witness for I assure you when it comes to porn I am a Viking.

The Coffee Bitch

P.S. Dear Miss Teen BJ 2008 if you would like a free coffee you know who to call.