Coffee and the brown trout

Today we have a sad anniversary here in Southern Virginia. Of course it has brought out all the nutcases and one even had the temerity to leave their pamphlet in my slice of coffee heaven. Inside this glossy toilet roll I am told that school shooting are caused by people who believe in evolution as they have no regard for life. Well so far so good but then we get serious and it seems that anyone who looks at a pretty woman is a fornicator and anyone who has had sex outside of marriage is going straight to hell. Well Kissbotty it looks like we are all doomed. I tell you I am so tempted to start the Coffee Bitches Church of Satanology. I could leave leaflets telling people that they will not go to hell if they don't fornicate (preferably with me). Now I think about it, every single church is about send me your money and every single cult is about having sex with your leader. I could be onto something here.

On a different tack, the Dean of Students at Collegetown has closed every single student kitchen. There has been a spate of students urinating in the ovens and then turning them on to high. Then they started to load them up with text books and turning them on, oblivious to what happens to paper at 475 degrees. The latest prank (and what has caused the Dean to close the kitchens) is that someone has developed a penchant for cooking faeces, isn't that nice? So Fruit of the Loins Two who is a grown up grad student cannot cook her dinner because someone has been crimping off a length and microwaving brown trouts.

I mention this only because in the wake of the Virginia Tech massacre some "experts" believe that students should be armed on campus. Would you really want a Glock 27 in the hands of someone who gets their goodies from roasting dumps?