Coffee and Speed (part1)

So FOTL1, FOTL2 and Slugger all come home for the weekend, and what a weekend of barbecue, beer, shooting and general mayhem it was.

On Friday Slugger decides to visit his Alma Mater and leaves FOTL1 to her own devices (which is never a good idea). About 11:00 FOTL1 is bored so she calls me to ask where the spare truck keys are (notice that she doesn't ask if she can borrow the truck). About an hour later I am pacing the floor asking where my truck could be when FOTL1 arrives looking shaky and carrying a big yellow sheet of paper. It turns out that she was pulled by a State trooper for doing 80 in a 55. The cop informs her that she has transcended mere speeding and is now comfortably in the reckless zone. FOTL1 asks if being engaged to one of Maryland's finest might help her out. Astonishingly the cop acquiesces and agrees to write her up at 74 and thus bring her back to the realm of speeding. Then he asks to see the registration which I keep in the center console that FOTL1 does not know exists. Now, and this is where the story gets really strange, the cop decides to write her up for failure to produce registration, but not speeding! Well the FOTL1 takes the penalty notice and the registration to the Kissbotty court which as you know is next door to the Coffee House and offers to plead guilty now as she will be back in Maryland next week and can't make the court date. The clerk takes the papers before Judge Mental who dismisses the charges.
From reckless driving to nothing in less than 60 minutes, only FOTL1 could pull that off.

However there are some points that still concern me. The first is, what did that little Jezebel think she was doing driving my beloved truck at 80 miles and hour? Secondly, I don't think that she actually learned anything from this. So if you are a cop and you see the most manly truck in Kissbotty, feel free to pull it over and give the driver a full roadside cavity search. This offer does not apply if you find a hairy arsed Englishman driving.

TCB

PS Slugger tells me that he will always reduce a reckless to speeding unless the driver gives him earache. The lesson here, kiddies, is to always respect your cop.