Coffee, Power and Plays

There is but one High School in the whole of Kissbotty County. I am sure that like me you will find this surprising as, after all, how much educashun does one need to grow tobacco and brew white lightening? I suppose the fact that we have even one school must be largely due to some interfering federal mandate that only serves to raise these poor little mite's hopes of a career just to later dash them against the grill of a McDonald's fryer.

Anyhoo, the boss and I decided to support these future burdens on the welfare state and see one of their school plays. Astoundingly it was all rather jolly and despite my misgivings I had a good time. It was, however a sad mark of the times that not only did the play have to be censored but in addition one of the mothers had to read a speech beforehand explaining that these kids were just acting and didn't really mean what they were saying. Heads up here folks, that is why it is called acting.


Afterwards we decided to grab a little Mexican (food that is) and managed to sneak in about 2 minutes before closing. As a general rule I don't normally do this as I know that when you piss off the kitchen staff they invariably snot up in your enchilada, but I was hungry enough to ingest a little mucus. As soon as our appetisers arrived, cheese dip for the boss and 4 Coronas for me, all the lights went out. Assuming that this was a hint to leave I started to hurl abuse at the staff only to discover that the east side of Smalltown was in darkness. Eventually Pepe asked if we would like our food to go. Sensing an opportunity to turn a drama into a crisis I told the boss to leave this to me and proffered a credit card. Of course with no power, the terminal didn't work. Looking as sad as I possibly could and under the cover of darkness I palmed my twenties and apologetically offered a five which they gratefully accepted. I later discovered that the fajita when served on a hot skillet is infinitely more attractive than cold and congealed in a poly box. Still whilst the lights were off I did manage to swipe all the flatware, two bottles of hot sauce and a very nice cheese dip dish.

TCB.

PS. The following day the town's tow truck driver came in and told me a story of how a drunken teenager had made an appointment with death by trying to ram a power pole. God clearly smiles of drunks in Smalltown as she rode up the support cable until the car was resting on its rear bumper. In order to get the car down Redneck Power had to turn the town off so he could pull her out, hence the power outage.