Coffee and Glasses

Saturday night and FOTL1 and FOTL2 are home. We all decide that with Mother’s day around the corner we should eat out and by a remarkable and fortuitous stroke of luck there is no argument as we all fancy a spot of Mexican. One of the advantages of being “in the trade” is that I know where to find the Health Department reports for restaurant inspections and this is what I use these days as my dining guide. So it came to pass that we found ourselves in Santa Anna’s Revenge, Smalltown. It is not the most salubrious establishment but at least (according to Smalltown’s inspectors) the guacamole is at the correct holding temperature.

I expect it is due to my English accent but I always seem to have a problem ordering at a Mexican restaurant even though I try to speak s-l-o-w-l-y and c-o-n-c-i-s-e-l-y. So I ordered a Corona “and may I have a glass to drink it from please”. Of course I got a bottle of beer, a wedge of lime and a glass of water. It must be the English in me but drinking from the bottle is so passé, if my mother could see me she would be spinning in her quicklime. Of course I planned to ignore the water but something caught my eye and looking down I saw that my old mate Bertie Grabbitt (Sue, Grabbitt and Runne LLP) had an advert printed on the glass. Apparently he specializes in accident and personal injury although bearing in mind the class of Santa Anna’s Revenge customers I would of thought he could have used a better copy. Perhaps “When your home is mobile but your vehicle ain’t come and see Bertie”. Actually I note that he is no longer Bertie, presumably in order to assist his more cerebrally challenged clients he is now Bert, which is two less letters to spell. I can’t imagine why the old Judas didn’t come to me first but he didn’t and as he has targeted the trailer market I shall have to set my sights a little higher.

I shall be forced to offer my glasses to Percy Piles (Hemmer, Rhoyd and Piles LLP) and I have even got the copy prepared

“Lots of smiles with Percy Piles
So let’s make a date to litigate”

Watch out Bert, I have my stencil and magic marker ready to go.