Coffee and the Party

As I have mentioned before Smalltown is the buckle on the Bible belt. Churches outnumber topless bars by 1000 to 1 and ladies of virtue outnumber ladies of the night by the same ratio. I had no idea how serious things were until I went to the post office to buy some stamps.
"What denomination?" asked the clerk."Oh, good heavens! Have we come to this?" I replied.
"Well, give me 30 Catholic ones, 10 Baptist ones, 20 Lutheran, and 40 Presbyterian."

As you can imagine being a Coffee House we get through a tremendous amount of milk every week. Lately I have noticed the boss staring wistfully at the milk refrigerator and eventually she confessed that she had a secret fantasy to bathe in milk. Ever one to help out I told her that I could do that and would she like it pasteurized. She replied that she would be happy if it came up to her chest.

Well it is Friday and that has to be the best. My gentleman hunters have been in to make the arrangements for tomorrow and once again we shall be pitting our wits against the turkey. Fortunately my main man has twisted his knee. I say fortunately as this means that he doesn’t feel up to climbing the north face of Everest tomorrow, instead we will be hunting on level ground. I tell you, these good ol boys climb like freakin mountain goats and I can also tell you that a shotgun that weighs 10lbs at ground level feels like 200lbs after you have climbed what feels like 2000 feet. So if on Monday you see a blog that starts “Mortals, behold the mighty hunter” you will know that I beat the gobbler. Watch this space.

One more working day until the end of the month and we have not only beaten our previous best but we have shattered the record. Normally I would celebrate with a case of Grolsch and a big ol’ pull of white lightening but I have to be up at 5:00 again tomorrow morning, so we decided to have a party behind the Coffee House for our regulars. Most Smalltownians are pretty reticent when it comes to putting out and we were concerned that the party might not even get off the ground. Fortunately my little nursey girlfriends from the Smalltown hospital came up with a perfect solution. I am sure that you will have heard of Long Island Iced Tea, well with the aid of my little Florence Nightingales we made a big batch of Smalltown Iced Tea. I provided the ice and the tea and they provided the lysergic acid diethylamide and the Psilocybin mushrooms. I tell you this was the party of the year, I am so glad we got a video as I am sure you will agree that some of these Smalltown ladies are pretty damned hot. Of course you have to remember that almost all of them carry a pocket bible and that kinda takes the edge off. I say almost all as DQ was in this week relating a tale of unbounded altruism and at the end I said “Jeez woman you really are a saint” to which she recoiled in horror and said “I ain’t no saint CB”. One sinner out of hundreds, not a great percentage, still hope springs eternal.

OK enjoy the party and I will see you next week when hopefully I will be covering the keyboard with turkey parts