Coffee and Onions

There are a few days when I really don’t care anymore. It’s not that I don’t care about the business per se, but when I feel that I have done enough then I have done enough. At this point my usually desultory service becomes surly and I just don’t have the patience to twat about with your ridiculous requests and questions. I am sorry but there it is, sometimes a man can only do so much.

Today was a fine example. The morning coffee crowd was in and we did a cracking session of lattes, cappos, muffins and bagels. Then just before lunch Postman Pat turned up with a bumper check from Kissbotty County in settlement of a catering order. At this point I realized that we had already reached an acceptable daily taking so I voted to take the rest of the day off. Sadly the boss used her casting vote (aka a knee in the nadgers) to dash even my smallest of dreams. So, steeling myself for the lunchtime rush and jamming an icepack down the front of my shreddies the following took place. An elderly patron asked for soup and the cheese and onion muffin. After I had gone to all the trouble of writing her ticket and taking it all the way to the kitchen she then flags me down to let me know that she has just realized that the cheese and onion muffin has onion in it and she doesn’t like onion, so could she please have it without onion.

Not really being in the mood for jollity I was forced to point out that the freaking muffins are not actually baked to order and perhaps she should take the hint from the menu that the cheese and onion muffins might contain onion.

Honestly a cheese and onion without the onion, my life has turned into a Monty Python sketch.