Coffee and the filthy hacks

What the intercourse is it about journalists? I presume that when they are out on assignment (and for that matter when they are in the bar) they are on expenses so why are they cheap skating me, the bastards? Here are two absolute gospel true stories to prove my point.

For quite a while the journo who covers this area for the Bigtown Gazzette used to sneak into the Coffee House to use the wifi in order to email her story tissue of lies back to base. When my back was turned she would then sneak out without ordering anything. Well I got wise to this little ruse and as soon as she came in I would give her a menu and as what she wanted. Her tactic would be to start with a glass of water, file her story and then when my back was turned, well you can guess the rest. Not only do I expect to be paid I also expect to be lavishly tipped out as well. I certainly don’t expect the royal shaft.

Yesterday (and this is still making my blood boil) some girly hack from the Smalltown News and Post came in with some other silly bint that she was clearly interviewing for a story. I asked them what they needed and she replied, “Nothing thanks”. The audacity of using my Coffee House as a free meeting place was so astounding that despite every fiber of my being urging me to drag her out of the door by her pubes I simply walked away.

After conferring with the Boss, if she tries that shit again I will ask her not to disturb me at work; after all I don’t go to the bus depot and interrupt you blowing vagrants.I don’t know what they teach these people at Journo School but by the Christ they have balls of steel.